Ode To Being a Nienstedt

With the recent birth of new Nienstedt, I thought I would give you a list of reasons why I am grateful to be a one. Okay, Okay, the baby isn't technically a 9er, but his mommy is! Congrats, B, H, and baby L!

Ode to being a Nienstedt

9. Kim will call Granddad 'Gramps' and get away with it. What the hell? We can't even call him Grandpa.

8. Always hedge your bets that someone will cry on a holiday. It is almost a guarantee. Let's call it "Our (dirty) Little Nienstedt Family Tradition."

7. Whenever you are blessed enough to be around our father, you will likely play the game "Let me ask you a million questions." Don't like this game? Too bad. My advice to you is to stay clear of my father then! Or just tell him you are a lesbian with a new tattoo. That tames the spirit rather quickly.

6. In true Nienstedt spirit, if your house catches fire, ingenuity replaces sophistication. Instead of just cleaning your house to remove the fire remains, just build a big, big shed. Then, buy two trailer houses. Of course these trailer houses must go inside the big, big shed. (Why else would you own a shed this large?) Last, but not least, build a bridge between the two trailers. I kid you not. I will not reveal where this actually happened. coughcoughmarioncountycoughcough

5. One Christmas, we spent with my 'Uncle' Bob. This was when my brother would have been 14 or so, and just learning to drive. Mom was sick, thus the reason we went to 'Uncle' Bob's. Dad had a couple too many and decided it would be best for my inexperienced brother to drive home. Well, on the way home, Dad decided to say "If I was driving, and your mother is here this is what she would be say-- (high Rita voice)--'Rich-ard! Slow down! Rich-ard, don't brake so hard! Rich-ard!'" Classic. I believe this was the same year Dad knocked over his rum and coke on the carpet and said "Let's not tell your mother about this!" Whoops! Just did!

4. Everyone scatters when they see my dad coming with a genealogy book. (Dad, I just want to let you know that it wasn't any one of us who suggested this.)

3. "What did you say your last name was?" "Nienstedt" "Nienstedt, huh?" Uh-oh. I can't tell whether that is good or bad.... Depends what part of the state you are in!

2. Perhaps this is more Cummings, but, alas, it has turned into a Nienstedt tradition. Each year we ask Mom to make Grandma's hot rolls for Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner. Each year we get generic rolls out of a bag. (Mom, don't kill me. This was your eldest who contributed this.)

1. I have accomplished my life goal. I have succeeded in finding, and meeting, the hairy-est man alive. I don't think I need to explain who this is. I'm sure Granddad can figure it out in a jiffy.


If you have any more you would like to contribute, leave me a message.

Merry Christmas!